My Name is Sea
by Cigne
Summary: A collection of stories set in the One Piece universe; various genres, pairings, and ratings apply. Newest: "Reassurance"-The Straw Hats recover from a frightful experience, and Nami just wants to make sure her boys are alright. Pre-Grand Line. "The Hands of Healing"- The Straw Hats regroup for an excellent round of After-Action Patchup.
1. Babel: Straw Hats

**Title**: Babel

**Universe**: Canon

**Rating**: K+

**Characters**: Straw Hat Pirates

**Theme**: Languages

**Word Count**: 1,041

**Summary**: _Luffy's call in the common tongue was what had brought them all together in the first place, after all._ (There is a great unifier across the four great oceans, but sometimes it is the differences that brings people together.)

* * *

The Parlar was a system of communication that many would described as being flat, clean, and completely and utterly uninspired, and that made it the perfect common language.

Known colloquially as "the Bridge", it was the unifying language on the world trade markets and had also been accepted as the unofficial standard by the World Government. From the everyman to the highest bounties on the four Blues, the Parlar was easily the most recognized language, only surpassed by their own native dialects and tongues. Even so, it was most commonly used for work and business, and the world's many distinct countries and island-states held on stubbornly to their vernaculars.

Out on the sea, the Parlar was just another cog in the system (much like the infamous Parlay) that entire crews would rely solely on the language for years, their own distinct languages left dormant and silent. It was just easier that way, especially on pirate ships; with people from so many different backgrounds under a single flag, finding common ground was crucial, if one wanted to survive the unpredictable seas. As boring and toneless as it was, the Parlar was the main language that could be heard on a ship's deck, and the Thousand Sunny was no exception.

Early in the mornings, it was the first of many hushed whisperings within the Sunny's halls, as the watch traded shifts in the crow's nest and the beginning of the day's meal preparations rose from the galley. Later on it had built up in a crescendo as the breakfast racket arrived, and it continued on through the afternoon as the crew's younger members scrambled wildly across the lawn in a childish game made up right on the spot by their equally young and immature captain.

The navigator's occasional call and the shipwright's answering bellow punctuated the noise of the rambunctious crew, and of course there was always a quiet, collected conversation being carried out somewhere on the ship.

It bridged them all together, this pirate crew of nine, and they liked having the easy, comfortable communication of the Parlar between them. Luffy's call in the common tongue was what had brought them all together in the first place, after all.

But sometimes…

Sometimes the musician brought up a song in his mother tongue, low and heavy with memories of a home he had long since abandoned, and his crewmates would listen intently in solemn, intrigued silence as the unfamiliar words sank into their bones. Even the captain, distractible and impatient and loud, never once uttered a word until long after the last note. The archaeologist found it reminded her a lot of her own desolate home and language, and it never left her with dry eyes.

The captain's language was all shushed consonants, but his bright, exuberant nature bled out into his voice and transformed his native tongue into a strong, songlike cadence. Even the softest, sweetest words were like explosions and fireworks in his mouth, and his crew couldn't help but smile at his outbursts when he remembered something from his childhood home. His language moments were the most frequent, in contrast to the swordsman's, who seldom spoke in his native language; when he did, his deep, strong voice carefully navigated the unique inflections of his tonal dialect. Most often, he shared it exclusively with the ship's doctor, a budding polyglot and a happy, engaged audience, who tried his best to follow what the swordsman said.

It was impossible to understand their crewmates whenever they retreated into their first language, and on the rare occasion it caused some difficulty on the ship, especially if the shipwright or the navigator slipped into their languages at the wrong time. During a particularly bad storm the two had ended up screaming into each other's face, unable to understand that they had lapsed back into their own languages in the heat of the moment. The disruption of communication had led to a tense, dangerous situation that could have turned deadly if the captain had not stepped in with a dark look in his eyes. His short, gruff bark mirrored their own lashing comments, but his Parlar rang clear in the wailing winds, and it was as though calm was restored in the middle of the tempest. Sheepish, the pair worked together to haul the ship to safety, and the rest of the crew breathed a sigh of relief.

Later, in the cozy warmth of the galley, the navigator and the shipwright shared a drink in the corner and laughingly compared their bold, coarse dialects, all conflict resolved and put behind them.

Despite the constant misunderstandings, though it would have been easier to stick exclusively to the common Parlar (and if the captain had chosen to do so he could have made it official), the truth was that they enjoyed their different languages. It was most obvious when the cook slipped into his native tongue, a lilting, flowing language that he used most often when fawning after the women in their crew. They might sigh and shake their heads, but there was no denying that though they couldn't understand him, they could see that he really, truly loved them; it resonated in every word he said. It was why they never really asked him to stop.

Their sniper's mother tongue was as smooth and flowing as the cook's, and though he never fawned over the women nor shouted his beautiful, songlike words to the heavens like the captain, his language might have been their favorite. It was only within his language that he was at his bravest, and within his own words that he was at his most honest. They were rich, strong sounds that left his mouth in the heat of battle, in defense of his crew, for the love of his friends. And though they could not understand his words, they understood his meaning, and they understood that he never lied in his mother tongue. It was a refreshing, beautiful knowledge.

The "Bridge" was a good, straightfoward unifier in a world divided by such vast oceans and barriers, but sometimes…

Sometimes, for all that the Parlar was useful and undeniably important to all of them, it was their first languages that they loved the best.


	2. Smoke 'em: Sanji

**Title**: Smoke 'em If You Got 'em

**Rating**: T

**Characters**: Sanji, Straw Hat Pirates

**Word Count**: 990

**Summary**: The Straw Hats' cook makes a simple purchase_._ (Or the real reason Sanji's nickname came to be candy-boy.) Pre-time skip, crack.

* * *

The Thousand Sunny made port shortly after noon, with several new fractures needing repair and a crew that was anxious for dry land after weeks of storm cells and the cruelest weather the Grand Line could through at them, so the poor ship nearly drifted into her neighboring brig at the docks when the unlucky sea pirates forgot to moor her.

Once their vessel was firmly docked and secured, the Straw Hat pirates left the Sunny to a well earned rest while they headed into the seaside town to stock up on supplies and food, and every one of them was relieved to be able to stretch their legs and relax, content with just taking it easy.

"Out of my way, losers!"

Well, most of them.

"Oi! Watch it, shit-cook," Zoro snapped, yanking a startled Usopp out of the cook's one-man stampede. Honestly, he didn't move like this even in battle. He cleared the docks in seconds and had expertly avoided a crowd of rowdy pirates near the waterfront with a beautiful aerial cartwheel, _over their heads_.

Usopp blinked. "Geez, what's his hurry?"

Their captain laughed heartily. "Sanji, you gotta teach me that one!"

He then tore off down the street after Sanji, his trademark straw hat trailing behind him on a threadbare string. Seeing this, the navigator sighed.

"Great, I'm going to have to loan him money for a new string," Nami grumbled, already calculating how much money she was going to lose out on this purchase. (The problem was that loaning money to their captain was a process; you had to give him several installments before he actually went out to buy what he had originally set out to find.) "At least it's a simple purchase, so he can't waste too much."

The others followed after her peacefully; they were worn out from the journey and weren't in a hurry to get into trouble on this island. Plus, Nami hadn't given them their allowance yet.

They found the cook and the captain at the nearest newsstand, where Sanji was holding Luffy back away from the curios and souvenirs.

"Yes, sir. I'd like to purchase all your cigarettes," the cook said tonelessly, turning his favorite lighter anxiously around in his palm.

Zoro rolled his eyes. So _that_ was his problem. Right, the man had practically been twitching from his distinct lack of cigarettes over the past three days. It had made him nearly unbearable, and everyone had almost skipped out on mealtimes just to avoid him.

The swordsman was just losing interest in this all-too-common exchange when the store proprietor's words made him give pause.

"Why, hello there, Sonny. Aren't you a little young for these?"

Zoro caught the others' gaze and nodded. Oh, this was going to be good.

Sanji blinked. "No."

The vendor's smile widened.

"No," Sanji repeated, in hopes that the man would hear him this time.

The man's smile revealed a few more teeth.

("Good gracious," Chopper whispered fearfully. "Are humans supposed to have that many teeth?")

Sanji placed a very large, very heavy bag of money on the wooden counter (somewhere in the background, Nami was whimpering). The vendor didn't budge.

"I'm sorry, my boy," the man said in the syrupy tone of the common retail worker. "But there are laws clearly stating that I can't sell these to minors. Wouldn't you like something nicer, like these candy pops instead?"

"I'm not a minor," Sanji managed to say, still clearly bewildered.

"Oh?" The vendor clasped his hands together. "Then you'll be presenting your identification?"

The cook went completely white. "I don't need identification," he hissed. "I'm a pirate."

"Karlus, what are you standing around for? Aren't there customers you need to attend to?"

A short, brown-haired woman appeared behind the man and elbowed him out of the way before fixing a beauteous smile on her face.

"Hello, sweetheart," she crooned. "What can I get for you?"

Karlus rubbed the back of his neck nervously, glancing between the woman and the cook. "Sorry, Ulsa; I was just trying to explain to this boy why I couldn't-"

_"Just give me your cigarettes."_

Ulsa took a good look at her customer and smiled brightly. "Oh…honey, no. Why would you want these awful, awful things?"

Franky, Usopp, and Nami were holding back snickers. Luffy and Brook were already laughing openly.

The well-intentioned woman continued obliviously. "My Karlus is right. a sweet, innocent boy like you, and these cancer sticks? No, a baby like you shouldn't even think about something like this!"

She reached over and pinched his cheek firmly. "Oh, look at those chubby-wubby baby cheeks! Adorable!"

Zoro was laughing so hard that he couldn't even stand. Robin was growing concerned for her crewmates, but to be honest she hadn't had this much amusement in a long time.

Sanji, in a stable state of mind and face free of grabby, pinching hands, would have kindly let her know that he had lost all his baby fat back on a starvation bout on a godforsaken rock out in the middle of East Blue and that the _baby fat_ she was digging into was his goddamned jawbone. As it was, he merely whimpered.

"And don't be in such a hurry to grow up," Karlus called, as he and Ulsa waved him off cheerfully from the stand. "Enjoy your youth, lad!"

It was the face that their cook was wearing as he walked back to them (hair and suit thoroughly rumpled and a bag of brightly wrapped candy clutched in his severely cigarette-less hands) that broke them.

The Straw Hats burst into a fresh round of laughter, hanging onto each other to stand upright and completely red-faced. Nami was sobbing into Usopp's shoulder while Franky and Brook did their best to hold onto a bouncing, hiccupping Luffy. Chopper shook with peals of laughter, even as he tried to keep a straight face to comfort the cook.

Robin wasn't sure that Zoro was even breathing anymore.

"_I hate this town_," Sanji whispered.


	3. The Mirror Child:Usopp

**Title**: The Mirror Child

**Rating**: T

**Characters**: Usopp, Banchina (Usopp's mother), Yasopp

**Word Count**: 600 (Two 300 word drabbles)

**Summary**: Sometimes, he is simply the reflection of a memory.

* * *

Usopp comes home like a whirlwind; though small and weak, he stirs up a sudden commotion in their tiny home, with his excited, desperate cries.

_Pirates are coming! They're here! _

The doctor looks as though he half-wants to throw him out entirely, but stops himself and turns away with a sigh. Great, fat tears well up in Usopp's eyes, though his smile is still bright and brave. Banchina smiles sadly and wishes she had the strength to hold her baby close in her arms.

_It's pirates! He came back, Mama!_

Her heart swells when she realizes that he's doing this for her, that he's trying to lift her spirits with lies that she knows she will not live to see come true. But it's enough for her that he tried. She fights to stay awake for him, even though her eyelids are so heavy and she just wants to rest.

_Become a brave warrior_, she tells him. _That would make me so happy…_

Her eyes widen; she's said this before. She's already done this and his hair in the afternoon sunlight is coppery and beautiful, exactly how she imagined he would return.

"You…came back," she croaks, and darkness eats away at her vision. "I always knew you would."

When he left, it was an afternoon like this and _he looks just like him_, so she can't help the words that spill out of her mouth.

Tears spill, trailing down her pale, sallow cheeks. "I waited, see? Like I promised."

Other faces blur in the background, but all she can see (all that she wants to see) is his golden hair and his perfect, brilliant smile.

_I never stopped._

She'll keep waiting for him, even if he has to take a while. She hopes they both take their time coming home.

* * *

They laugh and joke around like they aren't in the middle of a battle, and he backs Beckman and Shanks as they work their way up the riverbank. Taking a moment to reload, he casts his gaze across the river.

Luffy's crew fights with as much glee and enjoyment as they do. Yasopp can barely see them in the chaos, but periodically a strong attack reveals the Pirate King in all his glory smashing through the enemy's numbers (Luffy is definitely not your typical royalty, he snickers to himself). Grinning widely, he loses focus for longer than he should have.

"Yasopp!"

Beckman's shout almost comes too late. Cursing, he fells the bastard who had an opening on his captain, and then he hears the shot. He realizes the warning was not for him to watch out for Shanks' safety, but for his own.

The bullet doesn't reach him. Instead, something completely obliterates it in its path, mere inches from his face. Reflexively, he cuts down the sniper who nearly killed him and then glances at his savior.

Usopp pauses just long enough to throw a fleeting look over his shoulder. Yasopp is taken aback with how much he resembles her; it's like he never left.

Banchina stares fiercely at him under that dark hair, and she's all he sees in those wide brown eyes and that long, thin nose. He knows that she's dead, and yet he can't help but wonder if maybe she's still waiting.

_Yes_, Usopp's eyes seem to say as his glare softens. Out loud, he simply yells, "Don't be in a hurry to return all of a sudden! She'll still wait for us!"

Yasopp blinks in bewilderment, and then a grin spreads across his face and he returns to the battle.

_Someday, let's definitely return together!_


	4. Reassurance:Nami, Straw Hats

**Title**: Reassurance

**Rating**: T

**Characters**:Nami, Straw Hats

**Word Count**: 1027

**Summary**: The Straw Hats recover from a frightful experience, and Nami just wants to make sure her boys are alright. Pre-Grand Line.

* * *

"The medicine should be kicking in by now…"

"Don't sit up too fast, stupid."

"Hey, Nami; how do you feel?"

"Shitty rubberband, stop crowding her; she needs room to breath."

Nami smiled weakly at the four shaky blurs hovering near her, and slowly she felt her vision begin to clear up, revealing the worried, pale faces of her crewmates instead.

"Ah, I'm fine, you guys…" She frowned at the slight slur in her words; apparently the medicine was not as fast-acting as she had hoped. It didn't matter, though; now that she didn't feel like she was dying, she could focus on the next immediate thought on her mind. "Is everyone else alright?"

Usopp gave her a weird look and placed a hand on her shoulder to hold her down when she moved to sit up.

"Nami, you almost died. Just take it easy and don't worry about us, okay?"

"Noooo," she groaned, pushing his hand away impatiently. "I'm good, just dizzy. Tell me that you're okay, please."

"Nami-"

"_Please_."

How was she supposed to explain that she had to make sure her nakama was safe and sound before she could rest easily? How could she even begin to describe the feeling that someone had torn her heart out when she watched them struck down before her eyes, unable to do a thing for them? How that had wrenched the breath right out of her, even worse than the poison running through her body?

The sniper sighed and glanced at the others wearily. "We're alright, and everyone's safe and accounted for. Now will you lie back?"

"H-how badly are you hurt?"

Zoro's chuckle from the foot of her bed startled her, and she blinked blearily at the green smudge that was his head (her vision kept fading in and out, but she stubbornly held on to consciousness).

"Stupid girl," Zoro said fondly. "Half dead from that serpent's poison, and yet you still have the energy to mother hen us."

Nami glared and stuck her tongue out at him. She ended up drooling on herself instead. "Blegh…"

A handkerchief came up to wipe at her chin, and she glanced up to find Sanji's smiling blue eyes. "Here, let me get that."

"I'm going to be so embarrassed when the medicine wears off, huh?"

"Don't be; everyone does it, and that's not even under the effects of paralyzing toxins."

"Yeah!" Luffy jumped up from his corner of the room, bounding over with a lot of energy for someone who had just been through a grueling battle. "Zoro does it all the time when he's sleeping, and sometimes I do it just for fun."

He leaned over Usopp's shoulder and let a big glob of spit dribble down. "See?"

"Ew, get away from me!" Usopp shoved him off and scrubbed furiously at his skin. "That felt disgusting, jerk."

Nami smiled at the boys' antics and let Sanji prop her up against the pillows. "Idiots, I'm so happy you're okay."

Sanji's legs buckled under him, and he sank down next to her bed with a sigh. "Nami-san, of course we're okay; we have you."

She looked down at him in concern, noticing the way his brow wrinkled with fear and pain. He didn't say anything but just played his fingers through her sheets, worrying his lip between his teeth.

"I'm still here," the navigator said, and the boys regarded her with varying reactions. Luffy clambered onto the bed with her, snuggling in close to wrap his arms around her, and Usopp pulled a chair up to the bed and sat down, reaching over to take her hand. Zoro edged onto the foot of the bed, looking pointedly at a spot on the wall, but he was sneaking glances at her when he thought she wasn't watching. Sanji just laid his head in her lap, and she rested her free hand on his temple.

"We couldn't do anything to protect you," he muttered, and Nami ran her fingers through his hair, holding back a disbelieving laugh. "We thought that you…we almost…"

"I thought_ I_ had lost you guys." She blinked back tears, remembering the sickening crunch of flesh-and-bone against solid, unforgiving stone. "I didn't even care about the stupid snake; I just wanted to reach you."

"And we wanted to see you too, Nami, but if you ever do something like that again, we're tying you to Merry's mast for the rest of the trip."

She grinned at Usopp and squeezed his hand. "I love you too, Usopp."

Zoro stretched out comfortably over the foot of the bed, warming her feet considerably. Ah, that was better; she could actually feel them now.

"We could tie her to the prow instead; it would be a nice change from that dorky sheep thingy."

"How do you want me to take that comment? Should I be flattered that you think I'd make a nice figurehead or should I just kick you for being stupid?"

"There's nothing wrong with Merry's figurehead!" Usopp pouted. "Besides, it's adorable."

Luffy laughed from his spot at Nami's side. "The sheep stays, guys. I don't think Nami's head makes a good sitting spot."

"Gee, thanks for coming to my defense, captain."

He grinned and buried his face into the crook of her shoulder, and she felt a touch of concern. "Luffy?"

"…just making sure you're still here."

The rest of them settled in around her, taking any sort of contact that they could have with her. She closed her eyes at their touch, tender and innocent, and her chest felt warm with happiness.

"Nothing could take me away from you boys," she smiled through her tears. "You stupid, brave boys."

Sanji's voice was soft and kind and steady, although she still heard the tears he was holding back. "Just…promise us that you won't scare us like that again, Nami-san?"

Sleep was dragging her down slowly, pleasant and gentle, and she nodded at the edge of consciousness. "As long as you promise to always get back up for me when you fall."

She couldn't see them anymore, but their voices were like a light glowing softly from above her.

"Every time, Nami."


	5. The Hands of Healing:Straw Hats

**Title**: The Hands of Healing

**Rating**: T

**Characters**: Straw Hat Pirates

**Word Count**: 1,242

**Summary: **The Straw Hats regroup for an excellent round of After-Action Patchup. Seriously, Zoro should be a doctor.

* * *

The sniper groaned as Nami began to apply the ointment to his skin, trying not to wriggle away from her touch.

"It hurts…"

She continued to dab gently at the burns on his forearms, smiling apologetically. "It's for your own good, Usopp. This will help you heal faster."

"But the stinging."

"Suck it up, longnose," Zoro called from where he lay sprawled on the floor in the far corner. Luffy was sitting awkwardly next to him, listlessly patting at the gaping wound on the swordsman's side with a blood-soaked towel. "At least you still have an intact ribcage."

Nami winced. "How are you holding up, Zoro?"

"As well as one can with Luffy acting as nursemaid."

"Hang on, I'll be right over."

After she had wrapped Usopp's arms in loose bandages, the navigator hobbled over on her wrapped ankle and sank down beside her other two crewmates. Taking a fresh towel from the pile on the table, she helped Luffy wipe away some of the blood.

"Luffy, what's wrong with you? You've been poking at the same spot for the past ten minutes."

Luffy grinned widely, though he looked a little pale. "I dislocated both my shoulders!"

Zoro raised a hand. "I helped shove them back into place."

"You guys are a mess." Sanji walked in with clean bandages, the spare medical kit and a tub full of steaming water. "Nami-san, I brought the supplies you asked for."

"Thank you, Sanji-kun. Put them down over here."

"Yes, Nami-swan!" He smiled in that idiotic, lovesick manner of his, but that was the extent of his reaction. The crew watched him move across the room in a slow, deliberate stride; something about his gait was off.

"Shit-cook, I thought your girly twirling over women was ridiculous enough, but that just looks stupid."

"What was that?" Sanji whirled on the swordsman in anger, but a sudden jolt of pain had him doubled over in an instant. "Ahhh…"

"Oi, are you okay?" Usopp jumped to his feet and shot him a worried look. "What's the matter?"

"It's nothing," he ground out through gritted teeth, bent painfully over the table. One hand was kneading his lower back carefully, and the other was curled into a fist on the table. "I'm fine; just…doing some stretching."

Luffy laughed. "You look like Gramps did when he threw out his back, Sanji!"

"Shut. Up. Luffy."

"What's that, old man?" Zoro was going to have way too much fun with this one. A smirk played on his lips. "Having trouble keeping up with us young'uns?"

"Shut. _Up_. Zoro."

"Sanji, you want us dang kids to stay off your lawn?"

Usopp snickered, and Sanji shot him a dirty look. "_Usopp_."

Nami wobbled over to where he stood and hesitantly placed a hand on his back. "Where does it hurt, Sanji-kun?"

_"Don't touch me."_

"Sorry, sorry."

Now even Zoro looked concerned. The cook would never speak to a woman like that, especially not Nami. He sat up and held the bandages to his side, ignoring Luffy's pitiful attempts to tie them up. "Oi, was it that last goon you faced off with? I told you that you should have left him to me."

"I got careless and he got a good shot in. Slammed me against the damn tree."

"Back?"

"That too, but it was the move I pulled to get myself out of his grip that messed me up."

"You're so thin, I'm surprised you don't just snap in two when those guys bowl into you like that. You could stand to build up a little muscle."

"It wouldn't fix my legs, mosshead."

Usopp's eyes widened. "You hurt your legs? Are you sure?"

"Are you suggesting that my hips are lying? I can feel the-"

_Crack_.

"Argghhhh…"

"Sanji, stop moving!"

"Shit, that can't be good."

"Wow, that sounded even worse than the time Gramps had his back straightened out."

"Get me a doctor."

Zoro rolled his eyes and shoved Luffy away, moving to stand up. "You don't need a doctor; I can fix that right up for you."

"Stay away from me."

"Don't be such a baby," the swordsman said, cracking his knuckles ominously. "I fixed Luffy up and he's just fine."

"I can't lift my arms up over my head, hahaha!"

"See?" _Plop._

Zoro stared down at the huge dark mass on the ground.

"Shit, Luffy. Was that my liver?"

"I dunno."

"Dammit, still needed that."

Nami looked horror-stricken. "What is _wrong_ with this crew?"

"_Fuck_."

"As much as I'd love to tell you that you can't pickle your liver in alcohol anymore, I have to point out that this is a blood-soaked towel." The sniper was casually poking at it with the end of Wado's scabbard. "Luffy, sticking stuff into his wound is not going to help him."

"But it makes a good cubby." Their captain pouted and dropped the little trinkets he was sneaking over. "I was going to put my button collection in there."

"Ah, let me try!"

The two boys ran off to find other small objects that they could try to store in Zoro's side, while the swordsman just glared at their retreating backs and held his side protectively.

"Morons."

Nami was beginning to despair that she would ever be able to patch her crewmates up. She took a good look at Zoro's half-missing torso and sighed, turning around to attend to Sanji first. He was the lesser of two evils (God, how did Zoro even manage to do things like this to himself?).

"Sanji-kun," she said sweetly, leaning close to the cook. "Can you try to walk?"

"My legs feel like I was using them as lightning rods." He was twitching violently by now, and his breath was coming out in little hitching puffs. "I think my nerves are staging a coup."

Zoro scowled. "Great, we'll have to shoot him like a horse."

"What's a horse?" Sanji, having grown up at sea, had heard of very few land-based creatures and had seen even less in person. The first time he saw a rabbit on one of the small spring islands they had made port in last week, he had almost cried ("What the _fuck_ is wrong with its legs? _And how the fuck can it jump like that?!_") "Nami, _pleeease_ let me go."

"Sanji, you're going to have to get up from there," Nami frowned, rubbing his shoulder gently. "How are you going to cook for us bent over like that?"

"I'll cook with my face."

"That's hardly sanitary."

Sanji moaned and shoved his face against the smooth surface of the table. "I don't _ca-aaare_."

Usopp and Luffy came running back in at that moment, arms laden with things that Nami knew they weren't stupid enough to try to shove into Zoro's wound (they wouldn't, right?) and then the unthinkable happened. They ran headlong into the cook, bringing the table crashing down with them. Zoro and Nami cringed at the resonating smash.

"Nami, I think my arms are on fire again."

"Hahaha, look at my shoulders, Zoro! I think I-" Then Luffy saw the look in his first mate's eyes and sobbed. "Zoroooo…I dun wanna fix them agaaain…"

"_My hips_…_I need healing_!"

"Seriously, it's spreading to my nose now…are second-degree burns supposed to feel numb?"

"Zoro, _pleeeeease_."

"Luffy, stop crying; I haven't even touched you yet."

On the next budget balance, Nami set aside an extra fund for a doctor.

"Aieeeeee…"

And maybe a good chiropractor.


End file.
